And here we find ourselves on the second meme in the little series. I really am not sure what to say about this one. I am guessing this will be a very short blog.
Again, let us look at the wording and image in the meme – the first states ‘Women are romantic if they suddenly kiss men’ and then ‘Men are perverted if they suddenly kiss women’. This seems fairly cut and dry, but obviously not. It depends on your prospective. Personally, if anyone, man, mineral or alien suddenly landed a kiss on me, i would be pretty stunned, hell I would probably land a punch. It wouldn’t matter who did it, if a stranger was invading my personal space, it would be an unwelcome advance. So, that really does answer both sides doesn’t it. The accompanying images though, clearly show a woman aggressively leaning into the unwilling male, where the second image shows no struggle. This, to me speaks volumes. It speaks to me, of the rape culture that is very much prevalent (looking at you Brock Turner), that women by their nature are more willing and accepting. Am I reading too much into this? Not sure that I am, these memes have been specifically designed.
So what are we actually talking about here? CONSENT we are talking consent to be in another person’s personal space. The idea here, that the page in question, is trying to portray is that, sexual assaults are okay, if you are a girl. That feminists, like me, feel that it is okay to be more sexually aggressive. That somehow, after years of subjugation and domination by men, the tables are turned. Don’t be silly, two wrongs, most certainly do not make a right. And anyone believing otherwise is very misguided.
Consent though, is something that we should talk about. It is not just in romantic situations, it is in all aspects of our life when we might end up on another’s personal space. Some people are naturally more tactile, they will touch, stroke, hold hands, hug and kiss. Some people do this as naturally as breathing, and will do it to virtual strangers. Now this is not sexual in nature and should not be confused with sexual advances. However it is not any more okay just because it is platonic.
Kissing, and being spontaneous with a kiss is seen as romantic when in a relationship. WHEN IN A RELATIONSHIP of course if a man decides to kiss a stranger it will be seen negatively. But the same goes for a woman kissing a man. Or any unsolicited advances. If you are not sure how to advance, don’t. If you are not sure if your romantic overtures will be accepted, don’t. There are not double standards here, simply, consent in all things is important. It is not gender specific. However, my partner has just pointed out to me, that men are typically seen as being able to ‘fend off’ such advances, where as the fairer sex is not. And that opens up the whole rape culture can of worms I hinted at earlier. And that maybe, the point being made is that women are using the preconception of their frailty, to pursue a double standard. So that if the advance was ill-judged, a woman could easily plead an attack instead of being the attacker? But I would again ,as in my last blog in the series, suggest that as society we need to understand that men should be able to say no, and not feel emasculated. A man is not less so for finding themselves in a situation they do not want to be in. But equally, they should not have to worry that there will be cries of rape.
I will stop there as I am stepping into other territory that deserves its own blog.