Monthly Archives: March 2017

What is good for the goose,

is good for the gander as the saying goes. But what is implied here is that in fact, women routinely look at mens crotch. I mean… yeah I guess we are expected to keep our eyes down and often that will lead us to examine many a belt buckle. I mean of course, we are traditionally shorter than men so our gaze would naturally settle lower… so obviously we are looking at the penis area imagining what is hiding underneath the clothing. It is why we love getting dick pics. I mean we literally have no imagination and require visual aids.

And as women, we enjoy being coy, and teasing, we love to put our wares on show but … hell, don’t even look let alone touch. Isn’t that right girls? Sorry, ladies! 

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You see the difference here is very simple, as simple matter of habit, or comfort, of conformity… I don’t know and really this isn’t the post to discuss it. Would it make for an interesting discussion?

Side Bar: A teacher in primary school once pointed out that we spend our time looking at the floor, and we should look up occasionally. It was actually homework. So you know, keep that in mind when you are out and about.

The fact is, women, are not really THAT interested in what you are packing, in a general sense. But what we do notice is when men don’t make eye contact. There is a very big difference between a casual gaze, we all do it for the most basic reasons when perambulating, so that you don’t walk into people. It is the searching gaze, the fixed gaze that settles on our breasts. Worse so when we are having a conversation with a man doing this. Or even if he is part of a social group and can’t manage to fix his gaze any further up. I mean that is why we jokingly ask ‘do you even know what colour my eyes are’.

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We all have boobs, they are all different sizes, shapes. We know they are there. We also know that they are sexually objectively objectified. So you know, it would be really lovely, if when talking to us, you could maybe … for a moment remember that we are human beings and not just objects. Which is exactly what looking at our boobs makes us feel like.

So, sorry Menninists, or anti feminists, or whatever title you will to offer yourself. If you honestly feel that women spend their time looking at your dick, so by suggesting looking at boobs should be allowable because we are all about being treated equally… I mean… 

Are you even kidding me with this? Are you even trying? How often do women spend their time looking at a crotch even when talking to you? I mean, random women, co workers, neighbours, how often do women find it difficult to tear their eyes away and look up toward at least your magnificent beard? I mean really, if you just grew a beard this really would be a non issue. I mean women can’t keep their eyes… oh sorry, getting facetious but the meme wasn’t even trying. 

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Kiss me

And here we find ourselves on the second meme in the little series. I really am not sure what to say about this one. I am guessing this will be a very short blog.

Again, let us look at the wording and image in the meme – the first states ‘Women are romantic if they suddenly kiss men’ and then ‘Men are perverted if they suddenly kiss women’. This seems fairly cut and dry, but obviously not. It depends on your prospective. Personally, if anyone, man, mineral or alien suddenly landed a kiss on me, i would be pretty stunned, hell I would probably land a punch. It wouldn’t matter who did it, if a stranger was invading my personal space, it would be an unwelcome advance. So, that really does answer both sides doesn’t it. The accompanying images though, clearly show a woman aggressively leaning into the unwilling male, where the second image shows no struggle. This, to me speaks volumes. It speaks to me, of the rape culture that is very much prevalent (looking at you Brock Turner), that women by their nature are more willing and accepting. Am I reading too much into this? Not sure that I am, these memes have been specifically designed.

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So what are we actually talking about here? CONSENT we are talking consent to be in another person’s personal space. The idea here, that the page in question, is trying to portray is that, sexual assaults are okay, if you are a girl. That feminists, like me, feel that it is okay to be more sexually aggressive. That somehow, after years of subjugation and domination by men, the tables are turned. Don’t be silly, two wrongs, most certainly do not make a right. And anyone believing otherwise is very misguided. 

Consent though, is something that we should talk about. It is not just in romantic situations, it is in all aspects of our life when we might end up on another’s personal space. Some people are naturally more tactile, they will touch, stroke, hold hands, hug and kiss. Some people do this as naturally as breathing, and will do it to virtual strangers. Now this is not sexual in nature and should not be confused with sexual advances. However it is not any more okay just because it is platonic. 

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Kissing, and being spontaneous with a kiss is seen as romantic when in a relationship. WHEN IN A RELATIONSHIP of course if a man decides to kiss a stranger it will be seen negatively. But the same goes for a woman kissing a man. Or any unsolicited advances. If you are not sure how to advance, don’t. If you are not sure if your romantic overtures will be accepted, don’t. There are not double standards here, simply, consent in all things is important. It is not gender specific. However, my partner has just pointed out to me, that men are typically seen as being able to ‘fend off’ such advances, where as the fairer sex is not. And that opens up the whole rape culture can of worms I hinted at earlier. And that maybe, the point being made is that women are using the preconception of their frailty, to pursue a double standard. So that if the advance was ill-judged, a woman could easily plead an attack instead of being the attacker? But I would again ,as in my last blog in the series, suggest that as society we need to understand that men should be able to say no, and not feel emasculated. A man is not less so for finding themselves in a situation they do not want to be in. But equally, they should not have to worry that there will be cries of rape.

I will stop there as I am stepping into other territory that deserves its own blog.

mh