This was posted in a group I belong to a few weeks ago and understandably riled me. Gaming is no different from any other hobby, your beau could be into Poker, Golf, Fishing, he could spend his weekends fixing up cars, or out with his friends. So why act as if gaming is so much more special. I mean the pop culture representation of male gaming isn’t any more flattering than the female. Male gamers are see as fat, reclusive and lacking social skills. Female gamers are seen as barely dressed liars, who bite their console controllers and are doing it for freebies. I mean a quick Google search gives you as much.
What makes gaming so different from other hobbies, why is it so important to want to have a girlfriend who shares your passion? I mean I understand wanting to have things in common, I really do, it is like men wanting to have a girl friend who also enjoys sports. And I imagine that finding someone who likes sports is a damned sight more easy to do than a gamer, because it is a traditionally solitary hobby – oh you might have plenty of people you communicate with in game, and you probably know a fair few outside the game, but getting to know new people?
Now I have re started this blog numerous times because I end up getting side tracked, so let us try analysing each part of the lovers complaint instead..
Shakespeare said it best ..Thus merely with the garment of a Grace
The naked and concealed fiend he cover’d;
That th’ unexperient gave the tempter place,
Which like a cherubin above them hover’d.
Who, young and simple, would not be so lover’d?
Ay me! I fell; and yet do question make
What I should do again for such a sake.
Point one – girls who game as as rare as hens teeth. Are they? Are they really? I mean I have been playing since childhood, and I am can only imagine that with each new console more girls are exposed to gaming. So why are people still surprised? There are entire industries and gaming franchises aimed explicitly at games for girls. One thing to remember then, is the context. You are not meeting someone in person, you aren’t bumping in to them in a store, at the pub, at work. You are meeting them online. And as we all know, you can be anyone online. So there is a fear of Catfishing. But also a sense of wanting to protect yourself, I mean why would you announce to everyone you meet that you are female? Especially since the expectation seems to be that male players are …
Point 2 …going to find love in the game ? But it is a game, which by its very essence, does not require physical interaction with another human. The point is, that you genuinely be gaming against or in the same group at Deep Blue. Gaming, is like any other hobby in the respect that 99% of people do it for fun, in their free time, to relax, have fun. In this, it is no different from having an interest in car racing, golf, or putting hours in on a car. The fact is, yes it is great to be able to share interests, gaming with your mate can also just imply laziness. If your girlfriend shares the same interests then you don’t have to go do something she might like. Of course if girl gamers are already off the market or *gasp* lesbians.. I guess the concern is also that you have additional competition? Which leads us to to …
Point 3 – girls, girl gamers, may not find you attractive. They may not fall at your feet just because you have 4 capped level Alliance toons. They may not appreciate the hours of dedication you have put into your raiding guild, or care about the grinding that went into getting that epic mount. Whoa.. you mean… that girls are allowed to game and NOT FIND YOUR ATTRACTIVE! Holy crap! Isn’t that exactly the same as… oh I don’t know, finding out that the girl you have been talking to over Team Speak isn’t to your taste? Like… you actually have more requirements than capped level healer in X gear score to balance your raiding group? YOU CARE ABOUT HOW SHE LOOKS? Whoa…shocker!
And the final point – if you game, you cannot meet a girl. Girls, how do you meet people? Oh… right… because outside gaming, as much as you might put the hours in.. you go out and … INTERACT WITH REAL PEOPLE OUT IN THE REAL WORLD. What an utterly shocking and novel idea. Yes, you go to school, you go to work, you go shopping, you go to the cinema, hell don’t you have ANY hobbies outside gaming? If you are that serious about finding a girlfriend, then you would have to invest time and energy before you are at the stage of just logging onto your #battlenet account and raiding. While I agree, it is fun, I just find myself coming back to the fact that wanting a gamer girlfriend has NOTHING to do with shared interests outside pure laziness. You meet a girl, she games, you meet a girl in game, fantastic. You don’t have to actually do that socially awkward dinner and a movie, nope.. in your idea world it will be soda and pizza while she games naked. SIGH. Oh do I sound like a sexually frustrated, male hating feminist (is that code for lesbian or do I tag that also). I am just reaching the point of oversaturation of men complaining about girls gaming, or not and where to find them. My only advice, if you want to have a real relationship, is go out, and invest.